Visual Optimism: Blogging as Self Care

Monday, October 21, 2013

DRESS: Dear Creatures (bought on sale at UO - now sold out; pink version at Emerging Thoughts) CAT BAG: c/o Lookbook Store SHOES: ASOS (now sold out, similar) HARRIET GRAY TEMPORARY TATTOO: c/o Yurei Boutique HAIR BARRETTE: A gift from Charlotte

My goal for Mermaidens is to be an optimistic source of escapism - both for me and you - so if I don’t seem to have much to say beyond discussions of makeup and clothing, the truth is I don’t have much else going on in my life at the moment.

Over the last few years, my father’s disability has been getting worse and this has had a dramatic impact on my family and livelihood. This doesn’t make for very interesting or happy blog content, not to mention I’m already too self-conscious about my writing abilities (and especially sharing them on a large public platform!) to tackle topics heavier than my favorite lipsticks. These family problems not only require time-consuming dedication and patience, but having the responsibility to stay at home caring for someone has decreased most of my opportunities. This blog has become my main opportunity that I can pursue from my limited means - home and places near it - yet share and connect with so many amazing people.

It is lonely and difficult seeing loved ones struggle, so I try to channel all my love and creativity into Mermaidens. These past two weeks, several things prevented me from being able to post, and being without such a positive and at times therapeutic outlet had a drastic effect on my happiness. A lot of us disappear into the blogging world as escapism and being part of this community has been invaluable for me. I believe I’m a better person because of it and I'm so happy to be back!

I am always blogging and creating from a place of optimism - and hope that Mermaidens can be an escape for you if and when you need one like it has been for me ♡

And now, a few words about what I'm wearing! The stars aligned and I was lucky enough to find this dress by Dear Creatures on sale - a brand I have long admired and I am so happy to have a piece of their magic in my wardrobe! I wore it with the cutest cat bag ever, which was kindly sent to me from Lookbook Store, my favorite silver ASOS flats, and on my wrist is the adorable Harriet Gray temporary cat tattoo from the brand new shop Yurei Boutique! If you love the look of tattoos but are too fickle to get one yourself (like me!), these are purfect (sorry, I had to)! ♡

68 comments:

  1. I am very glad you're back! Stay strong :))

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  2. Thank you for writing this! Mermaidens is definitely a sugary happy escape for me (I adore escapism and often escape in clothing as you may have noticed) and I understand this on e deep level! Also your writing more than good enough, girl, keep doing what you do because you're alreadsy excelling at it!!! (๑・ω-)~♥”

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  3. I'm sorry about the rough stuff. :-( Mermaidens is definitely a special place to escape and get inspired!

    This Dear Creatures dress is perfection, btw. <3

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  4. Cute post!

    http://cheremimi.blogspot.com.es/

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  5. Welcome back! It is really hard sometime to blog when crazy things are happening in your life, especially related to family (believe me, I understand :/) blogging is definitely my escape. Anyway, glad you're back, love Dear Creatures, and that dress is darling on you!

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  6. its so good your blogging again :)
    i really love the outfit by the way <3 <3

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  7. great to see you back here missy x

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  8. Gorgeous dress, and the temp tattoo is cute too! Welcome back :)

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  9. Such a lovely outfit! And a pretty lady..inside and out :) xx

    Pastel Bokeh

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  10. You write wonderfully! I completely identify to blogging being an escapism from normal life - I also try not to let everyday woes seep on to my blog. I think it's important.
    You're a beautiful person inside and out. Chin up lovely :-) xx

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  11. Life sometimes sucks, but i'm happy that you can handle your situation and still enjoy blogging! All my best wishes for you, Kylie, you're so sweet and not seeing you with the powerfull smile you used to have is a pity
    All my love <3
    XXX

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  12. Stay strong you are obviously doing an amazing job caring for your father and shows what a great person you are for doing it, many people wouldn't.
    I love your blog, your outfits are always very cute and quirky!

    DarlingSophie

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  13. Thank you for this post!! I can not even express how much I love it. Your blog is always such a beautiful place! I adore your writing style, your pretty outfits + your positive outlook!! I hope that things get better lovely!! xoxoxo

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  14. You look absolutely beautiful Kailey! I love your dress and flats. It's wonderful that blogging is giving you some happiness because I really enjoy reading your posts. Hope you continue to push through and things will get easier for you. Wishing you all the best dear! xx

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  15. I'm so so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope blogging continues to give you a safe place. You look beautiful!

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  16. I'm sorry about your dad :( I hope things get better soon!!

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  17. As a fellow blogger with family hardships, I completely understand. I too try to use blogging as a positive outlet and I know how difficult that can be sometimes. Just know that you’re a ray of light, and Mermaidens is a place I can always count on for lovely, creative happy things.

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  18. I'm so sorry for the difficult times you're dealing with, sweetie! You're such a deeply compassionate girl and you should be very, very proud of yourself for what you do. I'm glad you're continuing to feed your creativity and escape into Mermaidens. It's so important to nurture ourselves as we go through trying situations, yet it's somehow much easier to slip into a dark place. I know firsthand what a powerful shift a positive attitude can have on our lives, and it really does take hard work to maintain that - but part of that hard work is making time for creative and healing projects, you know? Always keep a loving view of what a special person you are. You deserve that from everyone around you, but most importantly you deserve it from yourself. And please try not to feel insecure about your writing! You're creative, kind, and very smart - this all comes through 100% in the way you choose your words. xo

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  19. You sure have created a place full with lovely things & optimism, that's what I see every time you post a new entry! I love your blog! I hope you & your family are good & that you can keep on blogging happily :)

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  20. I really admire and respect your honesty and frankness is this post. I agree with your feelings of the blog world being a little portal of escapism but it's posts like this one that make me feel like the people I connect with online are real and genuine. I really enjoy your blog, your style and the way you present yourself online. I really hope that there are some bright, colourful things in your life at the moment and things to look forward to. I hope you and your family have brighter times ahead.

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  21. ah, your place is such an escape, and i'm glad you view it that way as well! i am sending thoughts to you and your family in this time of hardship!

    lindsey louise

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  22. Oh dear Kailey, I'm glad to see that you're back, and I'm so sorry that you're going through this. The most important thing is family, and those of us who love your blog will always be here, so don't feel like you have an obligation to blog when things are just not going right in your personal life. I feel the exact same way you do about blogging -- that I want my blog to be an escape, for both readers and myself. I've let a lot of the negative stuff I've been going through sneak into my blog lately, and I don't ever want to come across as whining or insufferable, though I want people to know I'm a real person. It's a delicate balance, and it's hard to navigate, but I think you're doing a terrific job. You're letting people in, but keeping yourself guarded, and I think that's a smart way to go about it. Keep your chin up, beautiful girl! ALSO this dress is amazing on you, and I love the temporary kitty tattoo!

    xox Sammi
    www.thesoubrettebrunette.blogspot.com

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  23. I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. Life is horrible sometimes. It's wonderful that blogging is helping you to escape and I'm glad you're back.

    Take care
    xx

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  24. Oh, I do hope that thigns at home start to get better and blogging continues to be a good outlet for you. I'm having a hard time finding work at the moment, and blogging's been such a saviour, I don't know how I'd be doing right now without it! Your blog is such wonderful escapism - your outfits are always perfectly dreamy. I really love your shoes and dress :) xxx

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  25. <3 I didn't forget about your fb message. Sorry i'm so slow~ I'll get to it today.

    I definitely get what it's like to feel helpless and take care of a loved one. Hang in there. If you need to talk i'm here. (Even if i'm a bit slow sometimes.) <3

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  26. Girl, I feel you. I help take care of my Nana. She has dementia, so it's been tough to find the time to blog. But like you, I honestly love it. I love having my own space to do whatever I want and make up my own rules. It's awesome.

    I get told to "be strong" a lot and I kind of hate it. So I'm just going to say that there will bad and good days. When the days are good soak up every good thing possible and when the day are bad relax and know that all experiences are defining experiences.

    Creative people can be inspired by the dark and the light. They can use those experiences to create artworks and masterpieces and a happy life. Though it is not always easy, it is possible. You are possible.

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  27. I'm so sorry to hear things at home have been a struggle lately, I do hope they get better for both you and your father's sake. I am the same way when it comes to righting about heavier subject matter. I've always seen Mermaidens as one of the loveliest and sweetest places on the internet, and you are always such a bright and optimistic person! You look darling here, by the way. Your hair color is looking fantastic!!
    xo, Tori Lynne
    http://generationscollective.blogspot.com/

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  28. I'm very sorry to hear about your dad :/ I know how it feels to care so much about someone and not being able to change their health situation... Best wishes, my dear. x

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  29. So glad to see you blogging again, Kailey!

    You are such a lovely and amazing person and it truly shines through on your blog. <3

    Gabi
    x

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  30. Kailey, you are so wonderful! I'm sorry things are not the greatest right now. Mermaidens is a beautiful candy-coated island far away from the worries of everyday life!

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  31. This is such an important post, thank you so much for making it! I check your blog everyday and delight when you update, but I know life happens and I am sending lots of good vibes the way of your family. I'm really self conscious about my writing on blog posts as well, but I always love the way you write and how effortless it seems. Thanks for sharing your fashion and insight with us!

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  32. I think that's a great goal and I agree that blogging can be therapeutic. Thanks for sharing :) And you look amazing in that dress. What a great find.

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  33. You are such a lovely person and your blog is a wonderful space. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Take care! :) -steph

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  34. I can tell you are somebody who loves your family so much!- There's nothing else more important in the world. Mermaidens is an incredibly bright, bubbly, mythical world, such a wonderful place that you have created! I think blogging is such a therapeutic thing to do- focusing on the positive- all of the amazing, beautiful creative things you can do :)
    xoxo Amie @ Spoonful of Vintage

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  35. To the pretty pink-haired dudette... You're doing great sweetheart :) Your blog is inspiring to many but mostly, all that really matters, is that it inspires you. Your personal place to share whatever you feel like sharing... And its clear to see that tons of gorgeous folk enjoy your blog, as they keep coming back for more :)

    Faded Windmills

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  36. u look amazing. geez I'm also obsessed with cats! adore ur bag. and oh! the flats are really nice

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  37. Escapism channels the energy we most desire and crave. By the 'Law of Attraction', our thoughts/feelings manifest themselves; thus creating that reality in which we live. We use it to our advantage, as a medium to put forth that very energy to instill the positive.
    So despite all the sadness, you truly do hold forth a beautiful state of optimism. Maintain it and continue to blossom. Follow your bliss.
    Much love. ♡♡
    ♡ Dulce

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  38. lovely blog!
    http://saltskinned.blogspot.com.au

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  39. i'm really sorry to hear about your father's disability and that you feel like you don't have a lot of opportunities. :( but i'm glad you have blogging as a creative outlet and a place to escape, because that's exactly what it is for me too. it's a place to express yourself and share your interests and make friends and stay in touch with them and it really is an amazing community to be a part of. i hope things are getting better for you lovely, i wish you and your family all the best! xxx

    little henry lee

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  40. Thanks for being so honest. There's nothing wrong with wanting to escape into your beautiful bubblegum fashion world when things are so tough. Do your best to stay strong for your family. My thoughts are with you!

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  41. that clip look so cute on you! ^_^ missed you Kailey! xx lots of love

    http://www.charlotteclothier.com

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  42. oh honey, I totally understand you and what you feel. I have similar situation - not same - and I really can imagine what's in your head. I don't want to write I'm sorry for you because you exactly know that. I just want to say I love you as a person, you are lovely girl, who fights with ugly reality. No matter what. And it's beautiful :*
    If you want to talk to me, if you have any problems with something, just let me know (:
    I'm not very good at commenting and sharing my feelings so.
    You look fab. I love this dress and I always wish it was mine <3
    Much love beautiful queen

    http://coeursdefoxes.blogspot.com/

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  43. You have perfectly accomplished what you set out to do. Mermaiden's is one of my favorite reads and takes me to such a beautiful place. I know it does this for me, and I hope it continues to do so for you, as well! We all love you so much Kailey and always understand if you're not able to blog. Just know you have people waiting for you to come back, forever routing you on! x

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  44. So glad to see you post again and I think Mermaidens is a lovely place for everyone to escape to. You are a great person and even though life is hard (most of the time) you seem to cope with it pretty well and thats amazing :) Such a lovely outfit you have on here by the way, I couldn't help but say it <3 Take care.

    Chamomile Dealer

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  45. Oh darling, I'm so sad to hear about your father's health declining, but you are a wonderfully devoted daughter for taking care of him in the past two weeks. I really respect that you put your blog aside to help out your family. I love that you have a positive attitude and use your blog as an outlet for you to express yourself!

    Xo, Hannah

    sweetsweetnoir.net

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  46. Sometimes you just can't post regularly, or even once in a month... For the past year my dad was really struggling, and it was really hard on me. Many of my friends had horrible difficulties, and it affected me as well.. This year things have changed for the better, and it's easier to focus on blogging, as I don't only think about the bad stuff. Optimism is always needed!

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  47. cute dress and bag! :)
    welcome back

    xoxo,
    rae
    http://raellarina.blogspot.com/

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  48. certainly the magic of your blog is an escape, and also many blogs that I see as well as mine .... see many girls sharing photographs of their lives their style of dress and infinities ... but certainly we all have something to hide our problems large or small ... I can confess that I live every day struggling to be happy and appreciate life, bipolarity leads me to waste a lot of my life ... so support for each girl, and you are a person apparently strong that leaves his best on the blog ... :)

    carlottaloth.blogpost.com

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  49. That bag!!! MEOW. xox <3

    Amy
    http://artoftheheartblog.blogspot.com

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  50. You are a gorgeous human being, Kailey.
    Disability is a major part of my life, and blogging has also been my main escape for the past two years.
    I also have to confess to having gone through your *entire blog* - yep, right to the first post - at least a few times when I've been having really bad days (I hope that doesn't make me sound like a bit of a creep haha). It's the perfect pastelly place to escape to. You've created something really special here :) Please never stop posting!

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    1. I almost forgot, I LOVE EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT YOUR OUTFIT SO MUCH. Your hair is looking more and more incredible in every post & I need to get myself some shiny shoes!!

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  51. I completely understand what you're going through, and I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts! Much love ♥

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  52. I'm not good with words but these situations we don't have control over that effect our lives to such a magnitude, there's not really words for it, just sucky bananas :( I hope things turn upward for your father and your family. Blogging, making outfits or art or whatever makes you happy is a good way to not necessarily distract you but use the extra feelings in a constructive way...at least I find. Heh, when I feel sucky bananas, one of the things I enjoy are your fanciful pics. Yes, I love the hair, makeup, clothes all separately but I especially enjoy the "finished image" with the background like greenery or a cute house XD plus you and your creations and I'm like Oh Kailey is still doin' her thing....freeking cutie McCute XD
    ok that was awkward XDXD
    so this dress here, I looooove gray anything and the gray and white stripes make the dress very fun as opposed to it being a drab gray dress...sweet gray stripes I like this dress a lot.
    wow, I am running on fumes right now I hope this message wasn't too weird! o_O bye dearie!
    -Mozelle (Nancy) :*:*:*:*:*

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  53. I just love love this dress on you! So darling.

    -Cece

    http://rosecolored-telescope-eyes.blogspot.com

    (PS I saw this on Instagram and thought the same thing!)

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  54. I absolutely understand what you mean, my blog is my absolute escapism as well even though i treat it more as a punching bag and personal diary :), i love how whenever i blog i can forget whatever sh** i am going through and just focus to write. I think you're wonderful for taking care of your father, i know not everybody have the patience to do what you do. I don't think i commented before (or maybe once), i just totally adore your style and fashion choicest! Love from a follower in Indonesia :D

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  55. I can only really repeat what others have said. I'm sorry you have to deal with the hard stuff, but it's wonderful that you're able to help. Mermaidens is definitely an escape, and I usually wait to read your posts until I have proper time in stead of skipping over it quickly. I also think people that read your blogs gets it. It might not be all rainbows and candyfloss, but it's okay to have a space that doesn't center about anything else than the pretty. Lots of love <3

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  56. heya, so happy i discovered your blog, love your hair color and your pics are quite literally dreamy...i think you've succeeded in the escapism.

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  57. Kailey, I am so happy that you find so joy in blogging, I think for a lot of us it's a form of escapism and for me I sometimes turn to it when I need to be happy and distracted. My heart goes out to you and I hope your situation improves soon. If you ever need to talk just know that I'm here for that, no matter how far away we actually are :)

    Emma x

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  58. Oh Kailey, I am so sad to hear you've been going through a rough time and my heart goes out to you - I hope you are alright and well done for being strong enough to hang on in there. I am so glad you have this space to channel your thoughts into and escape. It's so interesting for me to read about that as I think my blog is totally the opposite - I try to present snapshots of my life exactly as they really are without imposing too much onto them. Which is difficult! I've only been blogging a short while and there are so few blogs I actively read but yours stands out for its creativity, originality and genuine emotion. You always seem so delightful and friendly whenever we chat on twitter and that's such a brilliant and tangible positive thing you can hold onto whenever things seem tough. There are so many bloggers and blogs out there and you really truly shine through them.XXXXX

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  59. Miss Kailey, you are such a beautiful (and very inspiring) young lady xx

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  60. You are a strong person and lovely girl, I am sorry about your family issue, but I understand what is like, I also had a father with health problems, now he is in peace.
    Blog world can be therapeutic and I believe is ok if you can always be around, the there are many important things before blogging, even if you love it, family and real things come first. I love this outfit and your pink hair.
    Hugs.

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  61. As a person with a medical condition, I understand completely how you feel! Sometimes I worry way too much that what I write is too superficial...but then I think, why should that be a problem? The amazing thing about blogging is it is something you can have control of, something you can look back on with fond memories no matter what hardships were endured at the time. Above all else, what i love most about the blogging community is how it inspires others; it really is a positive place and outlet.

    I really hope things improve for you Kailey! I enjoy your blog oh-so-much, and it would be a pleasure to keep reading it for years to come

    xx Carina

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  62. Miss Ahoy sent me here. Big hugs to you, stay positvie and stylish- that dress is so awesome!
    x

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  63. So much truth in these words kitten, stay strong, eat well, sleep well and indulge in creativity to get there! You are looking ever so pretty in these pictures sweetpea, I know things can be tough and I know these things can help so use them and don't feel it wasted time or stolen or lost opportunities, think of it as building slowly, you are so young and so talented, there is so much potential so stay with it! :) Zoë x

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  64. Thank you for writing this, Kailey! Sending lots of positive vibes to you and your family! ♥ Reading Mermaidens is definitely a very happy and pastel mermaidy escape for me.

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